April 30th, 2021

Seeing Our Gifts

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Every April for the last 10 years, I have reflected on the gift I was given. Gift? you might ask. Yes, I consider my journey of childhood sexual assault a gift, though I didn't always think it was a gift. 

With the encouragement of some close friends, who have been parental figures to me, I walked into the Center for Prevention of Abuse in Peoria, IL about 10 years ago and into the office of one of the most amazing women I have ever known. Over the course of our sessions over weeks, months, and years, I was finally about to trust and open up. I trusted my counselor with intimate details of my life that my family and closest friends didn't even know. She made me feel safe. She asked the hard questions. She didn't let me get away with being silent...for too long anyhow. She knew when to push me and when to let me be. I was able to find someone who allowed me to truly be myself...angry, happy, tearful, frustrated,  excited and everything in between. This was a gift. Eventually, I was able to take the tools she gave and taught me and put them into practice. This wasn't always easy. This wasn't always well received by my family and friends but I was able to find my inner voice. This was a gift. 

When my counselor retired, it was the worst thing - or so I thought. I was scared. How would I be able to navigate my life without our sessions that began weekly and moved to monthly? Many tears were shed.  She continued to assure me that I had the strength within me to continue the journey without her. After all, she believed in her work and her ability to help others. She was and is a gift to me.

I soon found out, YES! I was stronger than I believed. I was given an opportunity to prove my strength to myself when I was able to stand up in front of a room of strangers and share my story with them. Something I would normally have shied away from. I was proud of myself. I knew she would be proud of me. I quickly learned that I always had the strength within but I just needed to trust myself, trust God, and trust those who had always proven their love for me. This was truly a gift.

​Who are the gifts in your life? What gifts have been given to you? What gifts are you giving to others? Please remember to take time to reflect on those gifts and thank God for them even if you don't think they are a gift at the time. 

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